Let It Be: The Art of Not Justifying Yourself

In a world where we are constantly scrutinised, questioned, and assessed, it can be easy to feel as though we always need to justify our actions or reasoning. Whether it’s in our personal relationships, at work, or within our communities, the pressure to explain ourselves can feel overwhelming. Yet, there is an empowering truth: it’s okay not to justify every decision you make. Sometimes, letting things be is the best choice for your wellbeing.

The Reality of Assumptions

Every day, every hour, people make assumptions about others. It’s human nature to form conclusions based on limited information. When you make a decision, someone may automatically try to interpret your reasoning, even if they haven’t asked you about it directly. The danger here is that assumptions, while often rooted in personal experiences or biases, are not always accurate. People may fill in gaps in their understanding with their own beliefs, emotions, and perspectives, which lead to misinterpretation.

It’s important to remember that this behaviour is more about them than it is about you. People often project their thoughts, feelings, and expectations onto others. It’s a way of processing the world around them. However, just because someone has formed an opinion about why you did something, of course, doesn’t make it true. They might not understand your motives or the complexity of your situation, especially if they haven't talked to you about it directly. Instead of feeling compelled to correct their assumptions or constantly explain yourself, consider that their assumptions are reflections of their own minds, not definitive truths.

The Power of Boundaries

One of the most important lessons we can learn is the power of boundaries. Specifically, the boundary around our personal choices and reasons. It’s okay to make decisions without feeling the need to explain every detail to others. You are allowed to keep some things private, and you don’t owe anyone a justification for your actions. Not everything needs to be broken down and shared.

When we spend too much time justifying ourselves, we can dilute our own sense of confidence and self-trust.

Overexplaining often stems from a need for validation, fear of judgment, or a desire to avoid conflict. It’s common among people-pleasers, perfectionists, anxious individuals, and those with imposter syndrome or past trauma. They may feel compelled to justify their actions to be understood, protect themselves, or preempt misunderstandings. Overexplaining can also arise from insecurity, difficulty setting boundaries, or naturally analytical thinking. 

By overexplaining, we are trying to control the other person and how they view us, when, in fact, this is not something we can control. 

Setting this boundary is crucial for mental and emotional wellbeing. It means recognising that you have autonomy over your actions, and it’s entirely within your rights to decide how much you share with others. The need to justify yourself stems from external pressures - perhaps a fear of judgement or rejection. But when you learn to accept that some people will make assumptions regardless of your explanation, you empower yourself to be more authentic.

Embracing the Uncertainty

Especially for anxious people, it’s hard to let go of the need for external validation. We all want to feel understood, appreciated, and accepted. But here’s the thing: even the most open and transparent explanations will never guarantee that everyone will "get it." Some people will always form their own conclusions, and that’s okay.

Learning to embrace this uncertainty can be liberating. It’s a reminder that, ultimately, we cannot control how others perceive us, but we can control how we respond to those perceptions. Sometimes, the best response is simply to let things be, knowing that their assumptions do not define who you are or why you do the things you do.

The Freedom in Letting Things Be

The act of letting things be is an acknowledgement that your life and decisions belong to you, and you don’t have to constantly validate them to others. It’s a practice of self-trust and respect.

In the end, it’s okay to let people have their own assumptions. They will make up their minds regardless of your efforts to convince them otherwise. But what truly matters is your relationship with yourself and how you feel about your actions. It’s enough to stand firm in your choices, knowing they are yours to make.

So next time you feel the urge to explain yourself or correct someone’s assumptions, remember that it’s okay to simply let things be. Your peace of mind is more important than other people’s opinions. Trust in your decisions, and let the world unfold as it will.