Could Your Friend Be Depressed? Here’s How to Tell and What to Do

Friendships are one of life’s most rewarding experiences, but they also come with responsibilities. One of those responsibilities is looking out for your friends - not just when things are going well, but also when things feel off. Mental health struggles, including depression, can be difficult to spot, even in those closest to us. So, how can you tell if your friend might be battling depression, and what can you do to help?

• Your friend might be withdrawing from activities and social interactions they once enjoyed. They could cancel plans more frequently or take longer than normal to respond to texts.
• Persistent changes in mood, such as sadness, irritability, or hopelessness, are also key indicators.
• Depression often has physical indicators too, like changes in appetite, sleep patterns, or unexplained aches and pains.
• If your friend is often self-critical, expressing guilt over small things, or seems unmotivated and uninterested in their goals, these could also be red flags.
• They might become distant, throwing themselves into their work as a way to avoid negative feelings.
• An increased reliance on alcohol or drugs as a coping mechanism might signal also that something is wrong.

If you’ve noticed some of these signs, trust your instincts, but tread gently. The way you approach the conversation can make a significant difference. Choose a quiet, private moment to talk, ensuring you’re both free from distractions. Express your concern without judgement by using “I” statements, such as, “I’ve noticed you’ve seemed down lately, and I’m worried about you.” Listen actively and give them space to share their feelings without interruption. Avoid clichés like “Just think positive” or “You’ll get over it,” which can come across as dismissive. Instead, focus on understanding and supporting them.

• If your friend opens up about their struggles, this is a privilege. Your friend is trusting you with their innermost feelings!
• There are concrete ways you can help.
• Encourage them to consider professional help, such as speaking with a therapist or counsellor.
• Offer to help them find resources if they’re unsure where to start.
• Be patient, as healing takes time and involves ups and downs.
• Regular check-ins, even as simple as a text or call, can make a big difference.
• Encouraging healthy habits, like joining you for a walk or a calming hobby, can also provide subtle support.

However, remember your limits as a friend. It’s okay to acknowledge when a situation is beyond your capacity and to guide them towards expert care.

Depression is not a reflection of someone’s character or strength. Your willingness to show compassion and offer support can be a lifeline for your friend during a difficult time. If you suspect your friend might be depressed, don’t ignore your concerns.

Reaching out could be the first step in helping them find the support they need. True friendship means being there in both the sunshine and the storms - and your effort to be present could make all the difference.